Joey
by otkcp
Summary: AU, Booth and Bones are married with kids, this story is through point of view of their fourteen year old daughter about the death of her three year old brother and the effect it's had on the members of her family.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: AU, Booth and Bones are married with kids, this story is through point of view of their fourteen year old daughter about the death of her three year old brother and the effect it's had on the members of her family.

**Joey**

The house seems so empty without him around, his joyous laughter used to fill our home with such life and now with him gone, the house has a sombre air to it and some days I don't think it'll ever be okay I don't think it'll ever sink in; Joseph's dead.

Joseph was my little brother, he was a sweet and funny kid, so full of life and now he's gone. Taken from us all long before his time. Joey was just three years old, too young for it to have been his time. He was the clown of our family; he was the one who could make anyone smile.

And now this house smiles no more. Mom and Dad don't talk about him, but I know that they miss him so much, I hear Mom crying at night and I see the pain in my Daddy's eyes. Kerry and Lee are too young to really understand it but I know the miss him too, they never fight anymore, not like the used to.

Parker took it hard, he never comes around anymore; he's always at his Mom's house I think it's too hard for him to be here, it's so hard for us all, but Parker and Joey had a bond stronger than anything, they were brothers in arms.

I guess in some ways I took it the hardest, I guess I blame myself, if only I had been watching him better, if only I had caught him faster, if only, if only.

It was all so sudden, Joey and I were playing outside when the ball rolled into the street, Joey chased after it and I called after him, tried to get him to stop but he just ran right out into the street, he was so small that the driver never saw him.

The sound of his tiny body colliding with car is forever etched in my mind, I can still see him all crumbled and still on the road, the sound of the sirens still echo through my head, I know it's something I'll never in this life time forget.

My little brother was taken from us and I know it was my fault, no matter what they tell me, I let my three year old brother run out into the street and he never came back to me again. And now I stand here, dressed in a long black dress, my hair done up all neatly, my eyes red from the constant crying, ready to walk out that door, to say goodbye to my brother.

I look around at the tear stained faces of my family, Mom was leaning against Dad, Kerry in her arms and Lee in Dad's. Parker and his Mom Rebecca stood next to them, Parker was sobbing and clinging to her, I felt my heart break just that little bit more.

Pops was crying too, standing next Mom's dad Max, I could see the tears shining in his eyes. Uncle Jared stood hand in hand with his new wife Padme, he was shaking and I knew he too was sobbing. Uncle Russ and Aunt Amy stood close by, their two girls Emma and Hayley hugged between them, all four crying.

The Jeffersonian family stood close together, there was not a dry eye in sight, and there was such a sense of pain and loss that surrounded us all. Music played and the priest spoke, but I didn't hear a word, my eyes were now glued to the photograph of Joey's smiling face.

It was time for me to go up there and talk, my mouth was dry, how could I do this, what would I say that could help at all, but my Mom's eyes on me made me get up there, made me move.

"Joey was my baby brother, he joined the family just after I met my Dad and gained my wonderful Step-Mother" I started my speech "when I held Joey in my arms for the first time, my world changed, he taught us how to live our lives with joy in them and now I don't know how I'm supposed to go on, how I'm supposed to live without him there to cheer me up, to make me smile when I'm down" I was sobbing now, Dad had left Mom's side, handed Lee to Pops and was now hugging me close.

"Shh, it's going to be okay, we can get through this baby, we'll do it together" he whispered in my ear and it made me cry harder, Joey's death was my fault and here was my Dad comforting me. Mom handed Kerry to her Dad and joined in on the hug.

"It's not your fault Darcy, it's not" she told me and I wanted to believe her, I really did but I couldn't, how could I? The tears kept coming, I didn't think they'd ever stop, but as the months went by, the tears dried up.

I sit at his grave; my fingers trace the words;

_**Joseph Henry Brennan Booth, **_

_**2007-2010 **_

_**Much loved and missed brother and son, you were our world Joey.**_

"I miss you Joey, I'll love you always" I whisper as I walk away, and for a second I could have sworn I hear him say "Lub you Dee" but I know it can't be true, but I would treasure the words anyway, forever and always, Joey would be alive in my heart and mind.

**A/N: so what did you think? Do you want more, perhaps the family's life going on after Joey? Review and let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

My world changed the day I found out I was going to be a mother, I didn't know then what an amazing experience having him in my life would be. I had not ever wanted to have a child, it was a horrible world and it scared me to think of bringing an innocent life into this world, if I had known then the joy he would bring me I would not have believed it.

Joey was my joy; he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, my twins were born a year and a half later and I love them dearly but Joseph was my first born and has the most special place in my heart, he was the one who broke through my armour and taught me how to love and let people in, he became my best friend, my life.

Losing my son crushed me, I was at work when I got the call, my world came crashing down around me and I collapsed into a ball, I could not breath or speak nothing was getting through and I just could not comprehend what I had been told, it couldn't be true, my baby boy could not be gone, he could not be dead.

Time has passed and the pain has not lessened at all, every day I feel empty and alone, I feel broken. How am I supposed to go on? I can't seem to smile, not even for my twins although I try so hard to be their Mommy, I have to be their Mommy and be strong for them, no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts, they need me to love and support them, now more than ever.

"Mommy where Joey?" my two year old son asks me and the pain and sadness rushes to the forefront and it takes all that I have not to break down and sob, Lee doesn't understand that his brother is gone, he doesn't understand the meaning of death, he doesn't understand why Joey isn't in his bed next to his anymore, doesn't understand why his Mommy, Daddy and the other main adults in his life are crying and sad all the time.

How am I supposed to explain to my toddlers that their brother is gone and can't come back "oh Lee, Joey had to go away" I tell him, choking back tears, I had never loved anyone the way I loved my first born and I'm not sure I can go on without him.

"When he coming back Mommy?" I almost lost it right then and there; I just want to fall to the ground and sob until I can't cry anymore, how do I crush my son, how do I let him know that his brother that he loved can't ever come home, won't ever play with him again.

"Joey isn't coming back, he can't come back" as the words come out of my mouth the tears start to fall, I pick my son up and hold him tight as I sink to the floor and sob for my lost child, for the baby boy I carried in my womb, for the little boy I loved and cherished, for the son who had made my world worth living.

I hate myself for being so weak with my son right in front of me, he shouldn't have to see this but I can't help myself, my happiness is gone, my world is falling apart and I can't breathe, I can't think clearly, I know intellectually that he is gone but I still look around for him, I look everywhere for him but I can't find him and I feel like he died again.

I try to breathe again but I can't seem to get the air into my lungs, I just feel so lost, how as a mother am I supposed to go on without my son, without the precious boy who turned me into a Mommy, who taught me to open my heart and helped me to love Booth, Darcy and Parker. Joey gave me a family and now he's gone.

Where is he? Where is my baby boy?

**A/N: Joey's death through Bones's point of view...I plan to write a few more through peoples points of view and then maybe life after Joey and how the family copes.**


	3. Chapter 3

My daughter hardly speaks anymore, she's fourteen and is being crushed by grief and guilt and I understand really I do because I feel the same way. My little boy was stolen from us by a passing car and I don't know how we'll ever go on. I pray to God every day and ask him why, why did he take my little man away?

My wife is broken, she loved him so much, he was her first born and he taught her how to love. Joey's birth gave us a family, I had a little boy who I knew I would never miss out on like I had with Parker or Darcy. I never thought that I would lose him, especially not like this.

Today he would be four, it's his birthday. It's been seven months since he died, died? How could my baby boy die? Bones is angry; she's glaring at everyone and yelling at the twins, they don't understand what today is, seven months is a long time for toddlers, they don't really remember Joey anymore and it really breaks their Mommy's heart.

Everyone is coming over, we're having a birthday party of sorts for our little man, we always will I think. We haven't really let him go at all. His room remains untouched, although we did move Lee into the spare room. It was too hard to tuck him in at night and see that empty bed where another smiling little boy used to be.

My two and a half year old daughter runs over to me "Daddy, who party?" he asks, she's getting so talkative, it makes me think of our littler chatterbox, our lost joker. I scoop Kerry up into my arms and kiss her head "it's for Joey baby, it's his birthday today" I tell her and she looks confused, we don't really talk about him much these days, it's too painful.`

"Who Joey?" she asks and I feel a stab of pain and guilt, my little girl doesn't remember her brother, I guess it makes sense, she wasn't yet two when he died. "Joey's your brother baby" I tell her and she frowns, she knows what brother is, Parker and Lee are her brothers "where he Daddy?" she questions.

I smile sadly at my little girl "he's in heaven baby girl, playing with angels" I explain and she nods, after losing Joey, Bones didn't care so much if I took the twins to church with me anymore, it gave me comfort to do so, so she let it go.

She wriggled for me to put her down and ran over to her twin brother Lee. My eleven year old son arrives with his mother; she gives me a peck on the cheek before going to put a dish on the table. I pull Parker into a hug "hey Bub, how are you?" I ask my once loud son, he's so quite these days and it hurts to see.

"I'm okay Dad" he whispers and pulls out of the hug before disappearing up the stairs, I doubt he's going to his room, I know if I went to check I would find his curled up on Joey's bed, Parker misses his brother so very much, but he's getting there, getting a bit better.

Darcy is in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on Joey's cake. Bones is out in the yard, sitting on a chair by the pool, she's looking off into space, I can tell this is hard for her, she misses her son and she doesn't know how to cope with it.

Angela and Jack arrive with their little ones, they have a little boy just months older than Joey, Stanhope, the pair were best friends and seeing little Stanny is so hard on us, especially Tempe, she sees the little boy who used to play with her baby.

Once everyone arrives, we gather outside, we sing happy birthday and blow out the candles on his cake, we each have an orange balloon, orange was his favourite colour. Some of them have messages on them and others not. There are gifts for all of the kids, a toy dog each, Joey loved dogs, we had planned on getting him a puppy for his birthday this year; God it seems so long ago that we were those happy parents.

We still got him the puppy, even though he's not here to enjoy him. The little chocolate lab is called Clifford; that was Joey's favourite show. Darcy is hugging the puppy to her, tears glistening in her eyes. We all miss our smiling little boy so much.

**A/N: My mouse Neville died today and I miss him so much, I loved that little guy. RIP Neville, Mamma loved you so much.**

**This story will be through varying peoples P.O.V and will take place over many years, watching as the family grows and changes and how their lives were touched and changed by one special little boy. **


	4. Chapter 4

I watch the clock tick over, watch as midnight dawns, its one year today; one year since my little boy, my son died. It doesn't make sense to me, I still wake up in the morning hoping, wishing that it was all just a nightmare and my Joey will come rushing into the room, bouncing on my bed, telling me he loves me.

I'm lying alone though, in his bed not mine, I haven't washed the sheets, haven't changed the bedding. It still smells like him. I look around his room, it's been left untouched by the passage of time that has past. I know it's not rational and that I should move on, I have a beautiful family still but I can't do it, I can't let my first born go.

I snuggle into his baby blanket; I let the smell of him overwhelm me as the tears begin to fall. I'm trying so hard to hold it together these days, but it's not working, not really. There are photographs of his smiling, cheeky face all around the house. New neighbours asked the question the other day.

"How many children do you have?" I went to say five, I wanted to say five but then I knew I would have to explain my lost son and I could not do, I just couldn't bring myself to say it out loud, so I told them four "I have four children, two boys and two girls" I told them their names and ages, told them that we are a blended family and the older two are technically my stepchildren but that I love them just the same but I couldn't tell them about my little Joey.

He was my pride and joy, my everything for so long and now I can't bring myself to speak of him to anyone else. My twins are almost three, the same age he was when he died. They don't remember him and it breaks my heart to know that. They know that they have another brother; Kerry says he's in heaven, I know Booth told her that, I don't believe in God or heaven but since losing my baby I have often wished that I did.

Booth is standing in the doorway now, staring at me. I can see the pain clear as day on his handsome face. I scoot over a little and let him join me on or son's bed. He wraps me in a tight embrace and we begin to sob together, the anguish of losing our little one still so raw.

"I miss him Booth, I can't stop missing him" I sob into his chest and he kisses my lips tenderly "I know Bones, me too, me too" that's all there is now, pain. You don't recover from losing a child, maybe you adapt and learn to live without them but you never move on, you never get over it. You love and cherish them always.

Joey will always be a part of us, of this family and this home, he's our boy, our son and we love and miss him every minute of every day.

"one year, a whole year".


	5. Chapter 5

I watch my three year old son run out into the street and my heart stops for a second before I react, I run after the little boy; I catch him and pull him into my arms. Wordlessly I pull his jeans and underwear down, bend him over and start to land sharp smacks on his tiny bottom.

I don't care if the neighbours see; most of them would understand my reaction anyway, they knew of my other little boy, my Joey. He had been three as well, when he had ran out into this street, he had been hit by a car that had been unable to stop, we had lost him that day, he had died right here on this road, the same road his little brother, now the same age he had been had just run into.

I keep the swats coming, turning the little behind from lily white, to a flushed pink. My son is squirming around, try to escape the punishing smacks, this was Lee's first real spanking and I'm sure he was shocked. "Daddy, owwie, no more" he cried "please Daddy, stop!" I ignore his pleas, determined to make sure he never runs into the street again.

I stop the spanking and pull the pants up over the sore and red behind, I feel a little bad for making him cry but the thought of losing him like we had Joey scared me so much that I didn't regret it, not really.

"Seeley Max, you never, ever run into the street again, you hear me?" I demanded as I hugged the crying tot. Our newest neighbour was giving me a disapproving look, I hand Lee off to Darcy as Mrs Larson storms over to me.

"What are you thinking, hitting a child like that" she snarled at me and I glare right back "I didn't hit him, I gave him a well deserved spanking" I corrected her "spanking is still hitting, you hit a child" I wanted this woman to shut up, I wanted to go and comfort my children, I had seen the look of horror and pain on Darcy's face, she had been here when it happened, she had watched our Joey die.

"You are new to this street Mrs Larson, so you don't know" I said "don't know what Mr Booth, don't know that you seem to think it's okay to hit children" she wasn't letting it go so I decided to tell her "no, you don't know about Joey" I ground out, trying hard to keep from yelling.

"Who?" she asked "Joey, our son, he was three when he ran out into this road, he was three when a car hit him, he was three when he died right over there" I pointed to the spot my child had taken his last breath in, I hated that I was standing on the sidewalk outside my home, pointing to the spot my little boy died in, it was unfair, so unfair.

I saw the look on her face, she shook her head sadly "I am so sorry Mr Booth" she apologised, it was sincere, this woman was saddened greatly by my son's story "I'll let you get back to your children" I didn't need any more prompting, I walked away from the nosey neighbour and inside, to hold and comfort my children.


End file.
